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Sarammlover - Yep, Michael FINALLY had an epiphany about his feelings for Maria! Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later.

Candysteffi - Yes, once at the club, Michael just couldn't find it in himself to be interested in other women. He was too focused on Maria, her anger at him, to flirt.

Emadaps - Yes, it was incredible that Michael finally allowed himself to think about love and fate. His double had loved Maria and Maria herself had crossed universes to find him.

ItsMeSila - Yes, Michael had realized his feelings, now there's still Maria! And hers are more complicated.

Luluzita - You got that right, they belong to each other, no matter what the universe is!

Jana1977 - Yep, maybe it's the answer, she was a Maria without a Michael, he was a Michael without a Maria. Who knows?

Valentinebaby

For someone so scared of being in love, he certainly has really romantic notions.

Well, he's had 45 parts (or months in the fic) to come to that conclusion. Canon Michael had known even sooner that he had been crazy in love with Maria, since 285 south. So there was hope for this Michael to realize his romantic feelings for her.

Marsis - Michael is still Michael, even when he now knows what he feels for Maria. He won't offer her flowers or declare his love to her. That's not who he is.

Part 45

Maria made herself right at home in Indigo's kitchen the next morning and after browsing through his well-stocked pantry and refrigerator she started making breakfast. She was pretty sure Michael hadn't eaten since the day before when they had left San Angelo and the knowledge that he hadn't spent the night having sex with some random woman had put her in a generous mood.

Part of her really wanted to know why he hadn't hooked up with someone the night before; he wasn't a man who could be overlooked on a normal day and he had gone out dressed to kill. Which meant that it had been his decision to come back to the house alone because there was no way he hadn't been propositioned, she thought. She had no intention of asking, of course, because that would just put him in a bad mood and she didn't feel like she was ready to deal with that just yet.

An even bigger part of her wanted to know what had brought him to her room when he had come back. It wasn't the first time he had done it and on the rare occasion when she was just awake enough to realize he was there she had watched him, but she had never revealed that she knew he was there. She had no idea how he would react if he knew she was aware of his nocturnal visits, but she had a feeling he would get defensive and argumentative.

He always seemed to be searching for something but she could only assume that he hadn't yet found it because he kept coming back. Something had been different the night before though, and she couldn't pinpoint what it was. She had been so busy trying to keep her breathing under control that she had nearly given herself away. She had felt him tense up and pull away and it had taken a couple of minutes before she had realized what he was waiting for.

She rolled her eyes as she finished chopping the vegetables and carried the cutting board over to scrape them into the pan with the thin strips of steak. She could just imagine what his reaction would've been after their earlier fight.

"Good God, woman, if I'd known you could cook like this I never would've let Guerin run off with you when we first met."

Maria turned to smile at Indigo, shaking her head in warning when he reached for a piece of the bacon that was piled high on a plate on the counter.

"I'd leave it alone, Indigo," Michael advised as he joined them and crossed to the refrigerator. He was reaching for a beer when Maria smoothly intercepted him and handed him a glass of orange juice.

Indigo's eyebrows nearly shot off of his forehead when the other man didn't say a single word in protest. He hurried to cover his shock by grabbing the morning paper he had carried in and pretending to glance over the headlines while really watching his guests. He folded the paper over and was reaching for a piece of bacon when Maria suddenly turned around and popped the hell out of his knuckles.

"Do not touch that bacon until breakfast is on the table," Maria warned.

Michael roared with laughter when Indigo's mouth dropped open in shock and the big man cradled his stinging hand to his chest. "Dumb fuck," he muttered with just the slightest hint of affection in his tone. "I told you to leave it alone."

Indigo retreated to the table on the other side of the room, his nose buried in his paper as he pouted over being told no. His wounded ego was quickly forgotten as his gaze was once more drawn to his guests and he watched their interaction with each other. He still couldn't get over just how at ease Michael was around her; in all the years he had known the other man he had never seen him so comfortable with another person.

Maria cracked several eggs into a mixing bowl and placed it on the counter that Michael was sitting on, and when she moved to check the steak and vegetables sautéing in the frying pan he picked up the bowl and started to whisk the eggs.

"Is this a batch with the hot sauce or without?" he asked, glancing at her.

"With," she answered, removing the pan from the burner and setting it aside. "I used more eggs since I know Indigo likes hot sauce on his - "

"How'd you know that?" Michael interrupted.

Maria turned to look at Michael, surprised by his angry tone. "What?"

"You said you know Indigo likes hot sauce on his eggs - how do you know that?" he clarified, trying to contain his feelings. The last thing he wanted to do was sound like a jealous boyfriend.

Maria rolled her eyes at the jealousy she could hear in his voice. "He was in L.A. while you were away on that last assignment and we had dinner together; we went to a café that served breakfast all day and that's what he ordered."

"You never said anything about seein' him," Michael muttered. What else was she hiding from him?

Maria rolled her eyes. Another typical Michael Guerin attitude, no matter which universe they were in - he was possessive; he just didn't like Maria getting along with other guys. In her universe, Max, Alex, and Kyle had been the only guys whom he had accepted and allowed to be around her. Max because he trusted him and knew that he was crazy about Liz, Alex because… well, because he loved Isabel, and Kyle because it was obvious that there was nothing there. Michael hadn't felt threatened by any of them, but any other guy… oh, boy! And this Michael was taking the same path. "Well, if you remember, you were a little under the weather when you got back from Cairo, Michael. Besides, why does it matter? He's your friend and you trust him; it never occurred to me that it'd bother you if we had dinner together."

Michael shook his head in denial, shrugging as he went back to beating the eggs. "It doesn't bother me. I just like to know what's goin' on in my absence."

Yeah, right! "Okay, well, now you know." She handed him a bottle of hot sauce and motioned to the bowl he held in his lap. "Finish beating those eggs."

Indigo shook his head and turned his attention back to the newspaper lying on the table in front of him. It didn't take long before his gaze slid back to them though, and he watched as they moved around each other with practiced ease.

Maria put the finishing touches on the first omelet and slid it onto the plate Michael held, nodding over her shoulder to indicate that it was for Indigo. She added more hot sauce to the remaining egg mixture, waiting for the oil to heat up before she poured it into the pan. She made sure to pile on the ingredients for Michael's omelet, adding extra cheese and folding it over before sliding it onto the waiting plate. She topped it off with more of the steak and vegetables, and added a side of hash browns and bacon before handing it to the man waiting expectantly close by.

Michael accepted the plate from her and he paused before turning to go to the table. "Thanks, y'know, for…" He held the plate up and shrugged uncomfortably before escaping to the table.

Maria quickly covered her shock and focused on making her own breakfast. Saying thank you wasn't a phrase that she could recall being a part of Michael's vocabulary one single time since they had first met; it was unexpected and not entirely unpleasant. She just wasn't sure how to respond to it.

Indigo noticed they did the same thing when they finally settled down at the table and he found himself observing them and paying very little attention to the steak omelet that had been placed before him. Michael reached for the jar of salsa and she was a step ahead of him, uncapping it and handing it to him before his hand had made it much further than the edge of his plate. She finished her juice and Michael went to get the pitcher from the refrigerator to refill her glass without her ever saying a word. She buttered his toast, he snagged a strip of bacon off of her plate, and the small interchanges continued throughout the meal.

"You got any new assignments comin' up?" he asked finally. He forced himself to focus on the plate in front of him as the other man responded to his question.

Maria watched Michael as he talked to his friend, trying to understand what was going on with him. Something big had happened to him, something that she could… feel, but she couldn't figure out what it was; he was talking to Indigo but it was obvious - to her at least - that his mind was elsewhere. She knew he didn't have any assignments lined up so she didn't bother following their conversation as she studied him without being too obvious about it.

*****

Maria settled into the seat next to Michael and reached down to fasten her seatbelt. The plan had been to fly back to L.A. with Indigo but one of his lady friends had called him with some sort of personal emergency and he had taken off in the middle of breakfast. Her companion's mood had taken a bad turn at that but he hadn't expressed any interest in discussing it so she had backed off, cleaning up the mess from their meal and leaving him alone while he called to make arrangements to catch a flight out of Albuquerque.

She glanced down when he fastened his own seatbelt, pulling it much tighter than was necessary, before his hand landed on the armrest between them. He had taken the aisle seat, claiming that it was the more defensible position should trouble arise, but his white-knuckled grip easily explained his refusal to take the window seat. "Why didn't you just tell me you have a problem with flying?" she dared to ask.

"I don't have a problem with it," he snarled. He pressed himself as far back into the seat as he could go and stared at the ceiling when the plane began to taxi down the runway.

"Michael, it's nothing to be ashamed of. But if you had told me, we could've just drove back to L.A. and you wouldn't have had to - "

"I just don't like commercial flights, okay? The pilots are civilians." His voice was practically dripping with disdain. "What do they know about emergency situations?"

He was afraid of flying? Her Michael hadn't had that fear that she knew of, but then again, they had never taken a flight anywhere either. They had always done their traveling by road. Hmmm, maybe it came from the crash… some leftover memory, maybe? Even if he didn't consciously remember it, he knew he had survived the crash that had killed nearly all of the other aliens onboard the ship. Maria made an effort to comfort him, not liking the fact that he was in any kind of distress. "Well, I'm pretty sure they're trained to handle - "

"They're civilians," he hissed through gritted teeth.

Okay, she wasn't gonna win this one, Maria thought. She needed to distract him before he tore the armrests off of the seats. "I could call Gabriel when we get home and tell him I can't make it in tonight. We could watch a movie or something and then later maybe I could make a cake or something."

"I liked that key lime pie you made a while back," he muttered. He could feel his heart pounding as the plane leveled out and his gaze left the ceiling when Maria leaned closer to him and her right arm settled on the armrest against his. The feeling of calm washed over him and he looked at her when she made a sound of agreement while caressing his arm. "What'd you think of Dupree?" he asked after a few minutes.

Maria sighed. She had gotten some vibes from the old man, vibes that she hadn't liked. There was just so much sadness and anger in him. "I think he's very lonely. He's spent his whole life chasing after the truth and in the process he lost everything that was precious to him. I feel sorry for him." She shook her head. "To spend so much of your life alone because you're too obsessed to care until it's too late… that's just very sad." She paused for a few minutes. She wondered how she would feel if she had been cloned and she met the person who had made that possible, albeit unwillingly. Or, what if she had met another Maria from a parallel universe? That would be a life changing event! She shook her head and brought herself back to Michael's problem. "What'd you think of him?"

Michael was silent for a while and his gaze was drawn to her fingers when they started to rub the back of his rigid hand in a soft, soothing manner. "They didn't have any right to do what they did to him. I know they were doin' what was necessary to ensure their survival, but, to just take someone and hold them captive… to do medical experiments on them… to keep them locked away for months at a time while cutting them off from any kind of human contact… that's cruel and it's the kinda thing that could drive someone with a weaker mind insane."

Maria stared at him, realizing that he was speaking from experience and that thought made her incredibly sad. She wouldn't ask him about it though, that was the kind of thing that was incredibly personal and unless he brought it up she knew it was best to leave it alone. She and Liz had talked many times about Max's capture by Pierce and she knew it had taken a long time before he had even been able to talk to Liz about it, to tell her what they had done to him. Trying to get Michael to talk about it would only be asking for trouble; he would feel like she was prying and he would get defensive and angry, so it was best to let him bring it up - if he ever chose to do so, which she doubted.

She glanced at her watch. They only had about half an hour of the flight left, so she needed to keep him talking. He hadn't really answered her question about what he thought of the old man, but maybe he wasn't ready for that just yet. "You guys were gone for quite a while this morning… any opinions, or conclusions you wanna share?"

Any conclusions? He still wasn't sure what to think about Dupree and the whole crazy situation that had led to him meeting his human donor. It wasn't exactly the kinda thing that happened every day. He needed more time to be at ease with the fact that he was related to the old man, that he was in some way his father. It was so… crazy! It was insane, was what it was. Completely out of some freaky TV show! "He was… different than I expected, I guess." He shrugged. "It was just weird to meet someone that was so much like me. Y'know, he brought up an interesting fact while we were talkin' an' I was kinda wonderin' what you'd think about it." He reached up to scratch his eyebrow with his thumb.

"What's that?" Maria asked, happy that he was confiding in her and eager to help him.

Michael hesitated. He knew that Maria still wasn't completely comfortable with his job so that made it something of a sensitive subject. He wasn't even sure he was ready to discuss it, much less on a commercial flight that could crash and burn at any moment since there were civilian idiots at the controls. He turned to tell her to forget that he had said anything but he saw how focused she was as she watched him, her face practically glowing with a happiness that he didn't understand. He swore under his breath; he couldn't turn her down now. "I chose a career in the military field and I'm very good at what I do… I'm not braggin' myself up or anything, it's just a fact." He shrugged when she motioned for him to continue. "D'you think it's a coincidence that I chose that career? I mean, you said that Michael had no interest in that type of work and yet, it's the field that fits me best."

"It is a field that fits you well, Michael," she assured him, still absently rubbing his hand. "He wouldn't have done well in the field that you've chosen…" She hesitated before saying more, not wanting to piss him off with yet another comparison, but not knowing how else to say it. "But you have to remember that there are a lot of differences between the two of you."

Somehow, this worried him. It shouldn't, but it did, because it could mean that he was more alien than her Michael. Was he closer to that killer dupe that she had mentioned? The one who had killed his brother, his king? "You think it's possible that I have more of Rath's personality than he did?"

Maria searched his eyes, reading the worry that was clearly visible in the dark depths. It had to be frightening for him to know about aliens, to have all the answers and to realize that many of the aliens weren't good guys. He never saw himself as the bad guy, just someone doing his job by hunting down the bad guys and dealing with them. There was a difference. And now he felt like that was in question because he was afraid of being too much like his old self? She didn't know much about the original Rath, but she didn't think that he had been someone to be ashamed of. Courtney had said that he'd had his own followers and that he would've rather died than ever betray his king. He was very faithful, something that both her Michael and this Michael had in common. "No, I think that you didn't have the influences he did growing up; you didn't have the same experiences that shape us as we become adults, and because of that you chose two very different paths in life."

That didn't really help Michael very much. If he had chosen this path because it fit him, it meant that he was more alien than his double and he had been able to fight this darker side of himself. "Meanin' he chose the respectable path and I chose the path of a killer."

"No, I'm not saying that at all, Michael." She shifted to face him more fully and she reached out to grasp his chin, forcing his gaze to hers. "Listen to me, okay? He killed Pierce to save the rest of us and it tormented him for a very long time; he never got over that, he carried it with him regardless of how much time had passed. It's very possible that I'm the reason he couldn't kill Pierce and then bury any emotions it evoked; our relationship allowed him to open up and let himself feel." Maria remembered very well how scared Michael had been that he would hurt her once he had realized that he could kill her with little more than the wave of his hand.

"So, it made him weak." He shook his head when he saw the hurt in her eyes at his bald statement. "That didn't come out right. As a soldier you've gotta be able to shut things out, to compartmentalize, and you've gotta be cold and calculating when the time calls for it. From what you've said about him, he couldn't have done that. I'm not tryin' to put him down or anything, it's just another difference between us." He shrugged. "I've got twenty-nine confirmed kills on my record, and I've never once felt so much as a moment of regret for any of them. It's just a job to me; there's no emotion involved and it doesn't even matter who the target is. I don't care about them or any family or loved ones that they leave behind… there's nothin' in me that feels the slightest bit of regret or guilt for killin' 'em."

Maria swallowed with difficulty as he discussed his job without any emotional inflection in his voice. This was one of the biggest differences between him and her Michael; she didn't hold it against him because he had never had anyone in his life to influence him any other way, but she didn't know how to approach it either.

Michael watched her, his dark gaze taking in every nuance of her facial expressions and he looked away when he saw the disappointment in her eyes. Why did it even matter what she thought of him anyway? Since when did he care what anyone, and especially Maria, thought about him?

Maria's eyes widened in surprise when he looked away and she realized that her thoughts must be written across her face clear enough for him to read them. She hadn't meant to hurt him, and she could see that was exactly what she had done. "Look, Michael, I don't pretend to understand what you do or how you do it without feeling anything… I have no point of reference for it; this is new territory for me." She gave him a small smile when he looked at her again. "I had a long talk with Indigo when you were in Cairo and it helped me to see your job in a different light. I don't look at you and see some murderer; I know the people you've killed in the line of duty were marked for death because they represented a threat in some form, but it's not an easy thing for me to accept and it's not something that's gonna happen overnight. There's a lot of your job that I do understand, like the times when you're protecting people, or the times when you're sent out to find people or things that are missing."

"You just don't understand how I can kill without remorse," Michael said, summing it up for her.

Maria winced at his blunt words, but yeah, it was true. She didn't want to cause him any pain, but she couldn't deny her own feelings. "No, I don't. I'm not judging you for it, either, though. Maybe, like you said, that's really the only way you can do that job."

Michael took a deep breath. Yeah, it was the only way and he had to find a way to make her understand that. Damn, that little voice inside his head was still there, popping up from time to time, pushing him to do things that he wasn't used to doing. It sucked to have a conscience, when he had never had one. Why did it have to show up now and talk to him, anyway? No guy in the field had to deal with that, so why him? And why now? Maria, of course, that was the only logical answer. "Emotions get you killed in the field, Maria. You let emotion get involved and you risk makin' a mistake that'll compromise your life or your mission… there's no point in doin' this kinda job if you're gonna be stupid about it."

"Why did you choose this line of work, Michael?" she asked. "What made you sign up for it?"

"At 17 I didn't really have any idea what I wanted to do with my life and the recruiter was very persuasive… travel around the world, earn a hefty paycheck, and eventually move up to a position where I could choose my own jobs." He shrugged. "I didn't have any family, I had no ties to anyone or anything, and there wasn't anyone who would've questioned it if I came up missin' or if I died on a mission. It just worked out well for me and the Company."

Maria could feel her heart constrict in her chest. It hurt to hear him talk like that, to verbally acknowledge that no one would miss him or be upset if he were to be killed in the line of duty. His coldness towards killing human beings was beginning to make sense. He had never cared for anyone and no one had ever cared for him, ever loved him, or ever waited at home for him. He was a stonewall, and even worse than her Michael had ever been. As a result, feelings like love, guilt, and remorse were strangers to him. "Have you ever been close to anyone? Formed any kind of lasting relationship or bond, anything?"

Michael thought about that for a little while… not that he really had that many "relations" to go through. "Indigo an' Stone, I guess. There's not really anyone else."

Maria nodded, sad that he had so few friends. "That makes sense; you're drawn to people who're like you because they understand what you do."

"Never really thought much about it, but that's probably true," he agreed. "Y'know, Dupree doesn't have anyone… well, he's got a maid, but it's not like there's much of a connection there. There's no one to miss him when he's gone… we've got that in common too."

"You honestly think Indigo and Stone wouldn't miss you if you were gone?" Maria didn't like thinking about Michael's death. She suddenly jerked, her breath catching in her throat at the realization that, for the first time, she hadn't thought about her Michael in connection to the word death; her thoughts had been for the Michael sitting beside her. She bit her lips, knowing very well what that meant… she had deeper feelings for this man than she had originally thought. The feeling of betrayal came back in a flash, tormenting her and it took an extreme effort to try and contain her tears. She didn't want to have feelings for another Michael! Hers was the only one for her, he was! She couldn't possibly love two men at the same time. Right? God, she really needed Liz! Liz would know what to say to her to help her make sense of this mess she'd gotten herself into.

Michael was lost in his own thoughts, missing Maria's emotional episode as he answered, "Well, they'd probably miss me for a while, but it's not like they wouldn't be able to go on with their lives before long. Dupree had a fiancé years ago… someone who would've missed him and he threw that relationship away. There's no one left for him now."

Maria forced herself to focus on him; it was easier than focusing on her conflicted feelings. "Michael, he's not you and you're not him; you're related, but you don't have to live to be almost 90 years old with no one you love around you. You've still got time to change that."

His hand gripped the armrest again when the plane suddenly jolted and his heart started to pound. "I fuckin' hate civilian pilots!"

Maria reached out to pry his fingers off of the armrest he was gripping. "Michael, hey, you can let go; we just landed."

Michael's eyes shot open and he leaned forward to look out through the window next to her. He slumped back in his seat and ran his right hand over his eyes. "I can't wait to get off of this plane and go home."

Once they had made it into the terminal and they hailed a cab to take them over to the airfield where he had left the truck when they had left for their flight a few days earlier. They had been able to fly out on a smaller plane piloted by an ex-military officer and Michael had been fine on that flight, so now she knew why he hadn't had a problem with flying back with Indigo in the pilot's seat. "Why don't we pick up something for dinner on our way home?" she suggested as they stepped out of the cab and made their way to the truck.

Michael tossed his bag in the backseat and glanced at her over the top of the truck. "Chinese okay?" he asked.

Ha, yeah, Michael and food… talk about a true love story! She couldn't help but smile at her thoughts. "Yeah, that sounds good. We should stop at that little place off of San Jacinto Avenue; they've got the best Kung Pao chicken out of all the restaurants we've tried so far. Oh, and they've got the dry garlic spareribs that you like, too."

"You still gonna call in tonight?" He nodded when she answered affirmatively. "We got the stuff for that pie?"

"We should stop and pick up some fresh limes; it tastes much better than using the stuff in the bottle."

Michael slid in behind the wheel and inserted the key into the ignition, starting the truck and checking over everything while she got settled into the passenger's seat. He wasn't about to admit it, but he was glad that she had decided to call in to work and stay home for the night. He couldn't explain it, but he felt the need to be near her in some capacity after the exhaustion and stress of the past few days.

ItsMeSila

damn i'm conflicted too. i want this michael to be loved by maria, but is her michael really dead? i don't know if i could choose one or the other if i was her.

Welcome to Maria's world! Not easy being in her shoes, huh?

Luluzita - The fact that she is trying to understand him is showing that she is caring more and more about him.

Sarammlover - Indigo is quite surprised by what he has observed. Michael has changed, but in a good way, thanks to Maria.

Emadaps - Not going to answer your question, sorry.

Candysteffi - The old Michael or this one? That's a tough choice. You'll have to wait and see.

Jana1977 - Well, Michael is whipped to a certain point. He isn't too domesticated!

Marsis

Oh, um the food she was making made me drool! I swear on my diet it was like reading food porn,

Food porn, that's hilarious!

Passengers of TMWDB please make sure your seat is in an upright position and that your tray is up and locked, we haven't landed yet!

Girl, you don't know the half of it!

Part 46

After dinner Michael went to take a shower while Maria washed up the few dishes they had used for their takeout dinner. His thoughts were running wild as he switched the hair dryer off, finished drying his hair. He unplugged the device and put it away before running his hands through his hair and turning his head to the side to examine his reflection in the mirror. Maybe it was time for a haircut, he mused, realizing that it was longer and shaggier than he had ever let it get. He frowned. Had he even had a haircut since Maria had come to stay with him? No, he hadn't. It wasn't like he kept it very short, but he had never let it get like this. He shook his head and flipped the light switch off as he walked out into his room and threw himself down on his bed. He linked his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling as he went back to his previous thoughts.

There was no pattern to them, no order that made sense; they were just random thoughts about his double from that other universe, Maria, Dupree, and his job. He had spent most of dinner going over their conversation on the plane and he was still surprised by the sheer civility of it. She didn't understand his job, she couldn't comprehend how he did what he did and still managed to look at himself in the mirror each morning, but she hadn't judged him one single time.

Regardless of where his thoughts moved to, they always came back to the fact that she was trying to understand him. He didn't know what that meant exactly, but, he felt like maybe it was pretty important. She had touched him a lot while they were on the plane too, and she hadn't once pulled away from him. They were making progress if she was beginning to reach a point where she could touch him without looking like she had just committed some horrible crime. He nodded to himself, not even realizing that for the first time he hadn't attempted to sexualize her touches in his own mind.

He glanced towards the doorway when the sounds of people talking caught his attention and he wondered what Maria had found to watch on TV. He hauled himself out of bed and went to check it out. Just in case he was missing something good, he rationalized to himself.

The only light was provided by the television and a single lamp, but he easily made out Maria's form sitting at her end of the couch. He paused just inside the room and glanced at his chair for a few moments before skirting around it and making his way over to the couch.

Maria's face expressed surprise when he ignored his precious chair and dropped down on the couch, quickly stretching out and placing his head in her lap and propping his feet up on the opposite arm. Her gaze skimmed over him, taking in the long, bare legs exposed below his cargo shorts, and the strong, muscled shoulders visible courtesy of his tank top. He had just gotten out of the shower and he smelled better than any man had a right to; a combination of soap, shampoo, laundry detergent, and that heady scent that was uniquely Michael.

"What're we watchin'?" he mumbled after a few minutes.

"A documentary about the Caribbean; Michael and I always wanted to go there. We traveled after graduation… well, not so much traveled as ran from the government, but we did get to see some pretty cool places. It was difficult to enjoy seeing new places and all these natural wonders when we knew that there were people who would've been happy to take us into custody and kill us without a second thought. Well, they would've been happy to kill me off; I wasn't really of any interest to them - " Her gaze shot to the man lying beside her when his hand shot up to grab her wrist and he tipped his head back to meet her gaze in the near-darkness.

"He wouldn't have let that happen," he said, his tone insistent.

"Well, no, not intentionally. But, we never knew what could happen from one day to the next. I never once doubted that he would do whatever was necessary to protect me, but these people were trained government agents and - "

"Trust me on this, Maria; he wouldn't have let that happen." He released her without another word and his gaze moved back to the television as he shifted around to get comfortable again. "So, you never quite made it to the Caribbean?"

Maria shook herself out of her musings as she stared at her wrist where his big hand had been wrapped around it just moments before. "No, we never did make it there. There were times when we did really enjoy ourselves, mainly because we were alive and together, and for a short while we could lose ourselves in whatever we were seeing or doing."

Michael listened to her as she talked, not interrupting or making a single disparaging comment about his double. Feelings that he had never in his life felt began to settle over him and he was shocked to realize that they were happiness and peace. Before she had come into his life he hadn't believed that either thing truly existed, but now he knew differently… he felt differently. He felt himself relaxing even more when her fingers started to card through his hair, her nails raking gently against his scalp. Even after she fell silent and the droning voice of the man providing information off-screen was the only sound in the room, her touch continued to soothe him and he eventually started to doze off.

Maria looked down when he shifted and his head rolled towards the back of the couch, his forehead coming to rest against her stomach. She combed her fingers through his soft, shaggy hair and let them slide down to rub against the back of his neck. She could feel the tension there and she used her fingertips to massage the knotted muscles, smiling when he made a sound that was somewhere between a growl and a purr.

She watched him as he slept, wondering once again what had happened to him the night before, wondering what had changed. He had been oddly content all day and she didn't know what had caused it; he hadn't been argumentative, condescending, pissed, or just plain mean. The entire day he had been almost… pleasant. She shook her head and slouched down a little further in the cushions, and before she even realized it her eyes were sliding closed and the sound of the television faded into the background.

Several hours later Michael awoke with a start and he blinked rapidly as he tried to identify his surroundings. He felt his breathing settle and his head eased back down to rest against Maria's body. He glanced down at the arm lying across his chest and then up at her where she was slumped against the cushions, her body angled protectively over him. He wondered if that was just the way she had fallen asleep or if it had something to do with him.

His mind scrambled back to the dream that had woken him up, the images hazy now that he was awake once more. He could recall scenes of him… only, it wasn't him… walking in the rain, being driven by the need to get to the one person who understood, the one person who wouldn't turn him away. The feeling of being overwhelmed by emotions as he stood outside of a window, waiting for the one ray of light in his dark existence to notice him, to take him inside and make the pain go away, even if it was only for a little while. He had felt the walls holding his emotions back shatter in the face of her caring touches, and despite the fact that he felt like ten kinds of fool for crying in front of her, her acceptance and her complete lack of judgment had been a balm to his wounded soul.

The memories didn't belong to him, but he knew that was what they were. The images, the feelings, they weren't just random subconscious thoughts that had come together to create a dream; they were memories. Maria had never said a word to him about such a scene happening between her and his double, but he knew that was what they were. But, how was it possible? How could he possibly be remembering things that had happened to him in that other universe? He didn't understand it, but he knew without a single shadow of a doubt that the images, the feelings, from the dream belonged to his double and the woman next to him.

He started to move and the hand on his chest started to rub against him sleepily, and her lips moved as she murmured something he didn't have a prayer of deciphering. All he knew was that it continued until he settled back down against her and then she fell silent once more and her hand clenched lightly in his shirt for a moment before relaxing and lying flat against his chest. He had been intending to get up and carry her to bed, but he changed his mind and just let himself bask in the unexpected peace of the evening.

*****

Maria delivered another round of drinks to the quiet table in the back corner of the bar, not bothering to speak to the two men sitting there. In the almost five months that she had been working at Azrael's Sanctuary she couldn't recall either of them speaking unless it was to place an order.

She carried the empty tray back behind the counter and collected one heavily-laden with food. She glanced at the table number on the ticket and sighed, shaking her head and mentally preparing herself to fend off Novak's advances once more.

Too bad Michael wasn't there tonight, she thought as she made her way to the table. Novak minded his manners a little better when the other man's scowling presence was close by. But, unfortunately, Michael was out of town on assignment, once again protecting the Covington's, who had requested him specifically.

It was his fourth assignment since they had returned from their trip to meet Dupree nine weeks ago. This was the most dangerous one he had taken on out of the four but he hadn't been concerned about it. Not that he was ever concerned about the assignments Marcos sent him on. He was completely confident in himself and his abilities and she had learned that it wasn't conceit so much as self-assurance. No that she really cared; the important thing was that he survive the missions he was sent on.

She had met Marcos and Cailyn a couple of weeks earlier when the couple had stopped in at the bar on their way to Lake Tahoe. The man had apparently proposed and his fiancé was dragging him off to be married before he could change his mind. Marcos hadn't looked like he had any thoughts about changing his mind, but the woman obviously wasn't taking any chances.

Michael had been there and he had just rolled his eyes, but he had refrained from commenting. At least until Cailyn had insisted on hugging him right there in front of everybody. Maria chuckled to herself. He'd had plenty to say at that point, mainly to cover his discomfort and embarrassment.

She brought her thoughts back to the present as she served the group at the table, careful to stay out of Novak's reach. She didn't think he was dangerous; he was just young and full of himself, and he hadn't learned to keep his hands to himself.

"So, when're you gonna go out with me, Maria?" Novak grinned at her, certain that she was gonna cave one day soon.

"Not gonna happen, Novak." She smiled and made a mental note of which glasses needed to be refilled. "Sanchez, you want another shot?"

The quiet man nodded and tossed the last of his drink back. He glanced at Novak when the younger man's gaze followed the waitress as she went to refresh their drinks. "You should have more respect," he muttered as he cut into his steak.

"What're you talkin' about?" Novak asked with a frown.

"He's talkin' about the way you keep playin' grab-ass with Guerin's woman, dickhead," Axel said, shaking his head.

"Okay, first, we don't know what they've got goin' on. And second? Hell, even if there is anything goin' on between them, he's gone a lot."

"Which means what?" Bootleg asked, wondering how the kid could be so stupid.

"Which means I'd be happy to take over while he's gone."

"You're playin' a dangerous game. You should have enough honor to leave the woman alone. It's clear that she belongs to Guerin and if you continue this foolishness you will regret it."

Novak shook his head and laughed at the old-fashioned nonsense that Sanchez was spouting. "Hey, I know you feel pretty strongly about this since you're married and you've got like, twelve kids at home, but she's fair game whether she's with Guerin or not." He glanced at the other two men at the table. "C'mon, guys, am I right?"

"You're insane if you think you're gonna cross Guerin like that," Bootleg muttered.

"Why?" Novak sneered. "You think he's ever left a woman alone just because she was married or with another guy?"

"I think Sanchez is right and you're gonna regret it if you keep fuckin' with Guerin's woman." Axel shook his head. "That man'll put a hurt on you, Novak."

"Whatever." He glanced up and smiled when he saw Maria heading their way with another round of drinks.

*****

Michael paid the cab driver and glanced up at the welcoming sign above the entrance of Azrael's Sanctuary. He walked through the parking lot to drop his bags off in the truck before making his way up to the front door of the bar. His assignment with the Covington's had been uneventful and boring since most of it had been spent watching over them as they rubbed elbows with dignitaries and government officials for the past four days.

He was ready to be back home where he could just lounge around the house with Maria and let her spoil him rotten. He'd had plenty of time since their trip to meet Dupree to become a little more comfortable with his feelings for her. They were more domestic than he had ever thought he'd be able to tolerate, but he had eventually realized that it didn't really bother him. On the contrary, he kinda liked coming home after a week away and having someone there who gave a damn about him, who asked how his assignment had gone, and who would then insist he take a shower and relax while she made him something to eat. Not just someone, his little voice reminded him. Maria.

They still fought like hell, and sometimes it was over the most ridiculous things, but he even enjoyed that. He'd enjoy it a lot more if the fights led to sex, but that hadn't happened. Sometimes he could swear she was ready to just let go and take that leap, but she always managed to distance herself before they had a chance to take it anywhere. He knew she was having a hard time maintaining distance between them, but he also knew she was walking a fine line; she still felt that fucking him was a betrayal of her dead lover and she was fighting that with everything she had.

He frowned when his previous thought didn't sit well with him. It was strange, he mused as he reached for the door, but lately when he thought about getting her in his bed his mind shied away from crass terminology like 'fucking'… which didn't make any sense because that's what they'd be doing. He shook his head and glanced at the clock on the wall as Raphael placed a bin on the counter and motioned for him to unload his weapons.

"You're here late," the big man rumbled. "Only an hour until closin'."

Michael shrugged. "Just got in." He stepped through the double doors and rolled his shoulders back as he glanced around. There were only a couple dozen people scattered across the bar and his searching gaze immediately locked on Maria. She was clearing a table near the pool tables where Novak and another man were in the middle of a game.

He stopped at the bar to talk to Gabriel and order a beer but his gaze kept straying back to Maria. He was just about to take a drink from the cold bottle in his hand when Novak suddenly moved and trapped her against the table. She turned around, her expression furious when his hand slid down to settle on her ass.

Gabriel quickly snatched the bottle out of Michael's hand; he wasn't gonna try to stop what was about to happen because Novak had been warned, but he didn't want to spend the rest of the night explaining a broken bottle impaling Novak's jugular to the cops either.