Title: Maria's Rant
Author: April
Disclaimer: The characters of Michael and Maria are not mine. We all know this.
Summary: A short ficlet in response to the ABC Challenge, which can be found here. (Maria POV). I can't believe I'm even attempting this, because I think it's going to be hard, but we'll see how it goes.
Rating:
Teen? I don't know. It's fine.
Author's Note: X was really hard! lol
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
All guys are idiots.
Boys are never men and men are always boys. Clever they are not. Dumb is a better adjective. Even if a guy seems out of this world, or even if he literally is, he's still just an idiot underneath. Forget romance when it comes to physical interaction. Groping is their thing. Hearts are less important than penises (to them). I happen to know this for a fact.
Judge the situation for yourself: Kinda wanted to talk to the other night. Love stories tend to involve a certain amount of talking.
"Michael, what exactly do you feel for me?" was what I asked. Now granted, we were about to embark on a sack-session. Obviously his mind was elsewhere. Pointless as the question was, I asked it anyway. Questions are good, right? Right, of course. So I thought he'd answer, even though I should have known he wouldn't. Things between Michael and I have always been nonverbal. Understanding, but nonverbal. Vain was my pathetic attempt to interject dialogue into our actions. Well, you can't blame me for trying. X-rays can't even see how he feels about me. Young and stubborn, he keeps that close to the chest. Zero conversation for Michael and myself that night, because he didn't say a word.
Alas, it gets worse, though. Believe me when I say Michael can be the most frustrating boyfriend on the planet. Confrontational. Disastrous. Even just outright annoying. For a guy who had to grow up fast, he's still pretty childish sometimes. God, I sound like I hate him, don't I? Hate isn't the right word. I love Michael Guerin, but I wish I didn't. Joking . . . sort of.
K's Choice was playing in Las Cruces last weekend. Love them. Music's important to me, especially great music created by great bands like, oh, you know, K's Choice. Naturally I thought Michael and I would drive on down to see them. Only I forgot one thing. Probably should've remembered, considering how long I've been dating the guy.
"Quit buggin' me to go see some stupid band," he said, "'cause the game's on." Revulsion, absolute. Seriously. The game? Underneath my semi-calm exterior, I was about ready to blow my top. Violent thoughts raced through my mind, and I fought the urge to act upon them. Why on earth would he choose a televised sporting event over a live concert?
"Xylophones!" was what I screamed for lack of anything better to say. "You idiot, K's Choice has xylophones!" Zealously pushing one of my favorite bands on him didn't have any effect, as Michael ended up watching his stupid game just as he'd planned.
And now here I am, spying on him as he shops for my Valentine's Day present. Bastard knows I'm not expecting much, although he better get me something better than what Doug Mason got his girlfriend Jennifer for her birthday. Chlamydia. Definitely not a good present, but that's what Jen got.
Even though he's clueless, Michael seems to be doing a little better than Doug. Far better than he did last year, even. God, last year's Valentine's Day present was an atrocity. Have you ever heard of an electric toothbrush that plays a Metallica song? I didn't even know such things existed, but apparently they do because that's what he got me! Just that.
"Kinda neat, right?" was what he said, and proud and satisfied grin on his face.
Longing for something more, I simply dropped the toothbrush on the floor. Michael was devastated because it didn't work after that, didn't play the Metallica song. Nope, it was song-less, and that was fine by me.
Okay, so the fact that he's shopping in a jewelry store this year instead of the hardware store is encouraging. Plus, he doesn't look like he's fooling around this time. Quite the contrary, he actually looks like a man on a mission. Romance could be a possibility this year. Stranger things have happened.
There are necklaces and earrings and bracelets in that jewelry store, so I'm think he'll buy one of those. Understand that purchasing jewelry of any kind is a big step for Michael. Valentine's Day isn't his favorite holiday, and giving gifts isn't his favorite thing to do, and I know he'd rather be at home watching the game and . . .
Whoa, wait a minute. X over those last thoughts, because now I have a new one. You know, this whole rant suddenly seems kind of pointless, because now he's got a gift in his hand.
Zany Michael. Are you buying me an engagement ring?
THE END
